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CubitOom@infosec.pub to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 2 days ago

Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier

thehardtimes.net

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Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier

thehardtimes.net

CubitOom@infosec.pub to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 2 days ago
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8
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  • cross-posted to:
  • theonion@sh.itjust.works
WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military... Read the full masterpiece
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  • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I personally love that fact this this is from thehardtimes.net

  • cristigyk@piefed.social
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    2 days ago

    "sperm tasting is next’ said Hegseth. ‘sir, you mean sperm testing?’ ‘i know what i said’ whispered Hegseth with a smile.

  • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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    The Onion slinging more facts than Fox since 2016.

    • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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      2 days ago

      Low bar there. They’ve been spitting Truth even before we realized they had a damn crystal ball.

  • MutantTailThing@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Cock pushups are back on the menu boys.

    • a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Cock pushups are back on the menu boys.

    • okwhateverdude@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      One is really all you need

  • halfapage@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    calibrate the heirloom rectal tensometer!

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