Memes, mostly. Lots of memes.

Uno has rules?

Things looked bleak for Joe, but they were even worse for mankind.

As Joe and Rita lay dormant, the years passed… and mankind became stupider at a frightening rate.

Some had high hopes that genetic engineering… would correct this trend in evolution.

But sadly, the greatest minds and resources… were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.

A standard drill should work for the screw extractors, but that depends on what kind you bought, I suppose.

A last resort, and pending any other suggestions, you could drill off the heads of the screws, lift the cover off and then use a locking wrench to twist out the remaining “posts” of the screws that are left. This is a pain in the ass in its own right and you risk cracking or damaging the plastic cover.

Edit: Just wanted to add another risk to drilling the heads off. If the screws happen to be brittle, you also risk snapping off the bit of “post” that is left and leaving yourself with a screw that you can’t extract easily. NGL, screw/bolt extraction can go wrong really fast if you don’t take your time or are just unlucky.

On that note, I just thought of two different methods that are in the same family… If the component allows for a little bit of force, you may be able to hammer a screwdriver into the head giving you just enough bite to turn the screw. (This will either break any corrosion or damage the threads of the screw.) Also, while it probably won’t work for this particular case, cutting a new slot in the screw head (using a file or a Dremel tool) may work to use a flathead screwdriver to extract.

In all of the above solutions, the theme is the similar: Don’t let the constraints of the original tool design interfere with brute force. You just need to either make the screw irrelevant (destroy it) or think of a creative way to turn the damn thing.

That’s fairly bold to ask for ~6% of the total world economy as well as a sizable chunk of the world’s energy.