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Dispassionate@quokk.au to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 18 days ago

China Announces Entire Planet Now Subject to Chinese Law

disreport.com

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China Announces Entire Planet Now Subject to Chinese Law

disreport.com

Dispassionate@quokk.au to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 18 days ago
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China announced that the entire world is now subject to Chinese law, extending its legal jurisdiction to every person on Earth regardless of nationality or borders.
  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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    18 days ago

    My guy, there’s no irony in this headline. That’s the blunt official position of the Chinese government. Is it even exaggerated? Do you think satire is merely describing bad things?

    I can’t help trying to fix this. “China draws new twenty-dash line around picture of globe.” “China denounces western map borders for implying its authority has limits.” “China renews claim to traditional imperial territory of Kansas.” It’s a PUNCHLINE, god dammit! There has to be a surprising contradiction, beyond the innate stupidity of the truth!

    This is a problem for nine out of ten headlines, from your site. Every thread has people going ‘I almost ate it!’ as if that red flag is the goal. It’s like isGlitch rose from its shallow grave, pun intended, to confidently whiff on easy targets week after week. The headline is the part that matters the most - to where a good one doesn’t even need an article - and this is the first response where you’ve broken the kayfabe of laughing off criticism.

    What is this site for? Is it just farming ad revenue? That’s the vibe of saying ‘well the thumbnail got your attention.’ Clickbait is not derision, it’s spam. Are you actually the isGlitch guy, still waiting to go ‘ah-HA, it was an LLM all along!’? If you are genuinely trying to say something, to write comedy, to ridicule and denounce the horrors - you desperately need to focus your effort on first impressions.

    • Dispassionate@quokk.auOP
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      18 days ago

      I don’t think that you’re the audience for this publication.

      I’m sure there are lots of books and movies that just don’t make you happy—but your opinion is limited to the space inside your own head. Lots of people are getting a kick out of our website.

      Also, this makes no money. It’s just for fun. How would we make money? There are no ads.

      So, in conclusion:

      1. We aren’t going to try to please you
      2. We do things how we WANT to do them
      3. We aren’t ever going to stop as long as people are reacting. 🤎
      • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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        18 days ago

        Clickbait, got it.

        Repeated detailed efforts to help solve the objective disconnect between your stated intent and the actual text are finally dismissed with big-ass letters saying ‘maybe my posts that confuse people are a problem with you.’ And them. Y’know, the people confused, in every thread? The folks whose apparently-central reaction is, ‘what the fuck I thought this was an editorial.’ The kick people are getting is the unpleasant shock of figuring out you were trying to tell a joke.

        Good to know it’s not for money, but that just makes the cocksure fumbling more confusing. Engagement bait purely for its own sake is not a better use of anyone’s time.

        • Dispassionate@quokk.auOP
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          18 days ago

          You’re weird. You’re the only confused person. So, we can fix this with a block.

          Have a lovely life.

          • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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            18 days ago

            Malyca: “I’m confused, this happened no?”

            Noxy: “The article never mentions the artist’s name, what the fuck?” abos: “Artists Name and Style is never mentioned.” hypnicjerk: “this is bad satire (?)” Dispassionate’s ratio’d dismissal: “Not all humor is for everyone. Perhaps you just didn’t get the joke?” hypnicjerk’s obvious response: “perhaps you just forgot to make one?”

            Korhaka: “Surely it’s someone’s job to know how to do this kind of thing.” Archer: “Articles like this are insidious, because you can never be certain.”

            Ledivin: “it’s so believable that I didn’t even notice!”

            SparroHawc: “I hate that I had to double-check what community this was in.”

            AeronMelon: “Ate this one, too.”

            humble_boatsman: “How is this satire?”

            scops: “I don’t know that this is satire. There’s no wit or layers to it. Its more like dystopian misery porn?” eodur: “Isn’t this already actually happening?”

            HubertManne: “oh man. this is satire. ugh.” Me, in fact: “This headline sounds too much like it’s riffing on a real attempt I’d somehow missed.”

            Dispassionate giving the game away: “Every comment or downvote means we are doing something right.” That’s literally just trolling.

            Nevermind the several people pointing out, it’s probably all generated, which explains the first-draft vibes… and lends credibility to this being isGlitch all over again.

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