• Pope-King Joe@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Let us not forget that the goddamn thing can brick if you don’t put it in “car wash mode” before going through a car wash. 🤦‍♂️

    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      5 days ago

      They’re also literally death traps.

      If the battery pops, starts burning?

      You now have to scramble to find the extremely awkward hidden emergency manual door release.

      Because the main door handles, both internal and external, are fucking fly by wire, they rely on the electronics, they’re not directly mechanical.

      Oh and the ‘bullet proof glass’ that makes up the windows… well its not very bullet proof, but it is significantly harder for a human to break than normal car glass.

      Like this guy is unironically lucky he did not drown and also burn to death at the same time.

      • Pope-King Joe@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        Yeah i don’t get it. Like, if you can’t even give your car a standard, everyday wash without it either bricking or rusting, and there are stories of people being fucking trapped in them due to electronics failures, why the ever loving fuck would you drive it into a goddamn lake you fucking troglodyte?!

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          5 days ago

          I really don’t think any car ever has been as rock solid of indicator of ‘I am a mentally impaired douchebag with far more money than sense’.

          Like… sure, pick your class of car that’s just wildly unnecessary, pick your brand of car that’s actually notorious for incredible maintenance costs, pick your model of car that’s just plauged by recalls…

          Cybertruck trumps everything as the ultimate poser douchebag vehicle.

        • runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone
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          5 days ago

          Surely this didn’t just happen. Surely the article is from checks image… hmm, yesterday you say. Well… I, uh, yeah.

          Maybe the guy was feeling trapped in his lease and saw an opportunity to break it and sue Tesla for false advertising?

      • Pope-King Joe@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        I wish it was.

        It’s not necessarily permanent, but imagine not being able to use your car for at least five hours after a standard cleaning because you forgot to switch it into car wash mode.

  • TragicNotCute@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    My favorite part is the driver being jailed and charged with a whole host of boating crimes. No boating license, missing required tools, etc

    • Crozekiel@lemmy.zip
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      5 days ago

      My favorite was “not having a valid boat registration”. It is such a great addition of insult to injury. “Oh look, this dude thinks his ‘truck’ is a ‘boat’. Guess we have to cite him for not registering his ‘boat’. What a shame.”

  • zonklezoop@lemmy.zip
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    5 days ago

    A customer also has to activate Free Roll, which leaves the vehicle in Neutral without applying the parking brake.

    Oh good, they came up with a stupid new term for something that people know, understand, has been around for well over 50 years.

  • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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    5 days ago

    To be fair, Elon never specified exactly what he meant by the word “briefly” and the phrase “serve as a boat”

    Oh wait, yes he did

      • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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        5 days ago

        So…unbreakable windows are actually illegal. They need to be breakable for EMT rescues or emergency escape.

        Apparently no one at Tesla had the balls to tell this to Musk but the engineers went ahead and fit proper windows. It’s actually quite surprising to hear how little Musk knows about anything.

        • itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          So apparently while not unbreakable, these windows are still a bitch and a half to get through, verging on impossible.

          This does not help when the doors also barely open under high stress conditions (like fire, being submerged etc). So you’re just kind of trapped in this death box.

          Tesla got lucky though, this is a feature on all of their vehicles which reduced costs for them dramatically. Hardly any other car manufacturer has this many ‘and then they burned or drowned alive because the doors didn’t open’ stories about it.

        • Professorozone@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          You have a source for that? I’ve looked pretty extensively though the Florida statutes and I didn’t see anything like that. Also armored cars exist.

          • despoticruin@lemmy.zip
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            4 days ago

            It isn’t a state statute. Vehicles marketed for sale in the US have to comply with NHTSA regulations, windows are a whole section.

  • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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    5 days ago

    Forgetting the death trap electronics and whatnot for a second…

    How are you supposed to propel yourself and steer?

    • Ephera@lemmy.ml
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      5 days ago

      Well, the guy did say “briefly”, so if you drive into the water with speed and the right direction, you might theoretically not need to propel yourself nor steer…

      • Birch@sh.itjust.works
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        5 days ago

        By the same logic, it can also briefly act as a plane, you just need to drive at top speed off a cliff. But don’t tell that to Cybertruck owners, or do, I am not your mother.

      • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        Yep, deep enough tread will work as a shitty propeller and steering will work as a shitty rudder. The idea is that it can do both, not that it’s especially good at one or the other.

      • Widdershins@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        My dad once drove/boated/floated an old Volkswagen across a flooded road that a pickup truck couldn’t cross. A big part of why it worked is that it wasn’t weighed down by two tons of batteries.

  • Syndication@lemmy.today
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    5 days ago

    Turns out, licking boots and driving a CyberTruck won’t get you a Get Out of Jail Free card like Trump and Elon.

    At least you can see the product of their last two braincells rubbing together, floating in the lake.