I have decided by fiat that it is, in fact, une pipe.

Seems like we both do and don’t, which is the best possible outcome I think.

Next time someone doesn’t put enough onion in a dish you can ask for it to be “more alliacious.”

Sorry, yeah. I’m using it to mean “of or relating to onions.”

Still alliacious.

This is quite a paradox. It’s a true story, not satire, meaning that it does belong on /c/nottheonion; and I would indeed look at the headline and think “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.” But it’s definitely about the satire newspaper and website The Onion, which is explicitly what this community is not about. It says so in the name!