Tell ya what. I’LL do all the shady stuff. You just provide the capitol. Just give me $50 million dollars, and I’ll scam the idiots FOR you!

Money please! Money me now!

Edit:Sorry, wrong comment.

(depending on your location)

In my location the price is N/A. We don’t have in and out burger in Ohio.

No peasant! Feed us your data, that we promise won’t get leaked by the end of this sentence!

Have you HAD Mcdonalds lately?

These fast food companies year after year after year report a drop in sales from the previous year.

And it’s fucking stupid.

When I was a teenager in the 90s, I had an addiction to Mcdonalds fries. A literal addiction. I would order 6 of the supersize fries. I would do this multiple times a day, everyday.

Last Friday, I tried ordering McDonalds for the first time since that whole rick and morty sechwan sauce thing.

What I got were sad thin flavorless strips of potato. I cannot imagine trying to explain to a teenager today that I used to be addicted to these. These aren’t the same fries that I used to know.

They report a 6% drop in 2025 compared to 2024. In 2024 I remember they announced a drop from 2023. It’s been dropping since at least the pandemic.

And here’s the reason why.

These companies keep asking “How can we make more profit?” And the answer keeps being “cut costs” and “raise prices”.

Well, yeah, I can see the cut costs. These fries are thinner. They don’t taste as good. They don’t have the crunch I used to know. I didn’t even get a super long fry, or a mushy fry!

And the chicken nuggets were also bland and tasteless. They were half the size as I remember. These were like thin scraps of a chicken nugget. The breading was worse too.

So I’m paying 3x the amount to get get portions that are half the size I remember, with none of the flavor, and somehow end up waiting 20 minutes.

Cool, cool, cool, cool. I don’t think I want to ever go to McDonalds again. They obviously can’t figure out why sales are dropping, and refuse to sell a fast product that tastes good for cheap.

So why would I want it?

I will however eat these apples.

…now see, you SAY funny. I think we have a difference of opinions on humor. You know what I find funny? You ever see that old video from the 90s of Donald Duck slumped down in his chair, getting a handjob from Daisey duck? And he can’t handle it. He’s all like “Ooooooweeeeee!!! Oh my gaaawwwwddddddd!!! Playin wit ma balls! Playin wit ma balls!!! Oooooooh!!!”

And then he just cums EVERYWHERE, and it’s all drippy on Daiseys face. She’s just kneeling there, with a shocked look on her face, and Donald says “I’ll go get you a towel!”

I found that funny. Not so much national corruption, bribery, and internet security fraud.

And we’re SURE this is real life? Really??? THIS is real life???