In the UK our £2 coins have “Standing on the shoulders of giants” written around the rim, to remind us all that no, you wouldn’t have thought of that, you berk.

Are you saying you wrote a song and Facebook secretly listened in through your phone and gave the song to your favourite band and they released it? Because that sounds like you have serious mental delusions. This does not happen.

You can scran some scran (food)

One time I was in Spain and I found 5 Australian dollars on the floor in a train station. I picked it up and pocketed it. The same day, I climbed a bell tower in some museum/remains and was chilling up there for half an hour, without anybody else coming up. Eventually another person came up and said hi. Recognised they were Australian so I asked them if they wanted 5 dollars and they said “…yeah?” And I gave it to them. No explanation.

I laugh sometimes thinking of the story from their perspective, climbing a Spanish bell tower and meeting an English guy at the top who hands them 5AUD, like a NPC in an RPG.

I was hoping to read a collection of people’s group chat incidents. This sucks.