Yep. It’s a trauma response, basically removes her conscious awareness to protect herself. Essentially prevents compounding exisiting trauma.
Personality disorders run in families, but are almost always environmentally caused - abused parent with PD abuses child who develops PD. But even then, the abuse can be caused by others too.
The little I know about her history - her family was obsessed with the status/wealth they were legacy to. Presumably, they could have traumatized her into believing wealth by any means necessary was the only way she would get the care her inner child needed.
As part of that - the narcissist would then be completely enveloped in awareness of their image and how others perceived them. They accepted no flaw, and if they could not fix a weakness, they found a way to avoid that flaw all together. Their ENTIRE identity then revolves around something they project on to others. They withdraw completely when faced with something they cannot use cognitive dissonance and blame to avoid. That means they usually LACK self-identity at all.
Its REALLY sad if you think about it. But the damage they do to other people isn’t ignorable. They are horrible in the way they treat and perceive others.
Yeah I have a history of disassociation as well (yay cptsd), but I’ve noticed a particular way it looks in cluster b folks, and it’s more clear the less healthy they are. (A friend who underwent enough dbt to have it be hard to tell she has bpd didn’t have the look at all.) I think it’s partly that they’re disassociating anticipatorally and in situations where they’re going in and out.
And yeah BPD and NPD are really similar in a lot of ways. My father is a narcissist and he had a violent childhood that drove him to seek status and control. Very similarly the BPD folks I’ve got scars from had rough childhoods as well, even the one who lied about every aspect of her past. They struggle with identity and self care and struggle to deal with distress without disassociating or attacking.
I’m sympathetic to cluster b folks, I’m incredibly grateful I managed to leave my childhood without being one of them. I wish them all great treatment and can be friends with many once they’ve gotten control of themselves and their emotions and are mostly asymptomatic. And I feel awful for the burdens their diagnoses and conditions leave on them throughout life. But also I can’t be the damage left behind in their wakes anymore.
If anyone with a cluster b personality disorder is reading this or anyone reading this feels like they might have one, DBT works when you commit to it and do all the work. It’ll be slow and it’ll hurt, but it saves lives especially for people with bpd. It can give you the tools to stop hurting yourself and others. Those of us who’ve been hurt by folks with cluster b disorders want the people with them to heal and learn to stop hurting people.
That makes sense I’ve learned the “BPD stare” by having experiences that make it terrifying for me.
Yep. It’s a trauma response, basically removes her conscious awareness to protect herself. Essentially prevents compounding exisiting trauma.
Personality disorders run in families, but are almost always environmentally caused - abused parent with PD abuses child who develops PD. But even then, the abuse can be caused by others too.
The little I know about her history - her family was obsessed with the status/wealth they were legacy to. Presumably, they could have traumatized her into believing wealth by any means necessary was the only way she would get the care her inner child needed.
As part of that - the narcissist would then be completely enveloped in awareness of their image and how others perceived them. They accepted no flaw, and if they could not fix a weakness, they found a way to avoid that flaw all together. Their ENTIRE identity then revolves around something they project on to others. They withdraw completely when faced with something they cannot use cognitive dissonance and blame to avoid. That means they usually LACK self-identity at all.
Its REALLY sad if you think about it. But the damage they do to other people isn’t ignorable. They are horrible in the way they treat and perceive others.
Yeah I have a history of disassociation as well (yay cptsd), but I’ve noticed a particular way it looks in cluster b folks, and it’s more clear the less healthy they are. (A friend who underwent enough dbt to have it be hard to tell she has bpd didn’t have the look at all.) I think it’s partly that they’re disassociating anticipatorally and in situations where they’re going in and out.
And yeah BPD and NPD are really similar in a lot of ways. My father is a narcissist and he had a violent childhood that drove him to seek status and control. Very similarly the BPD folks I’ve got scars from had rough childhoods as well, even the one who lied about every aspect of her past. They struggle with identity and self care and struggle to deal with distress without disassociating or attacking.
I’m sympathetic to cluster b folks, I’m incredibly grateful I managed to leave my childhood without being one of them. I wish them all great treatment and can be friends with many once they’ve gotten control of themselves and their emotions and are mostly asymptomatic. And I feel awful for the burdens their diagnoses and conditions leave on them throughout life. But also I can’t be the damage left behind in their wakes anymore.
If anyone with a cluster b personality disorder is reading this or anyone reading this feels like they might have one, DBT works when you commit to it and do all the work. It’ll be slow and it’ll hurt, but it saves lives especially for people with bpd. It can give you the tools to stop hurting yourself and others. Those of us who’ve been hurt by folks with cluster b disorders want the people with them to heal and learn to stop hurting people.